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Correction / Writing


23.9.15 ReadingGate



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Once there was a flat, damp land that smelled like wild onions. This land lay along an American river and lake. Then one day a tall, hamdsome black man came along. He looked at the river and the lake and said to himself,

"This is a good place for a trading business."

He start trading, and He built a workshop and a bakery and barns. 

Slowly, a town began to grow. City name is Chicago.

Indians said, "The first white man to settle in Chicago was a black man!"

And he was.


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Correction:  Student's sentence   Corrected sentence        Grammar explanation       Better sentence  


Once there was a flat, damp land that smelled like wild onions.

This sentence is correct.

This land lay along an American river and lake. 

This sentence is correct.

Then one day a tall, hamdsome black man came along.
Then one day a tall, handsome black man came along.
The spelling is wrong. 

 He looked at the river and the lake and said to himself,

"This is a good place for a trading business."

This sentence is correct.

He start trading, and He built a workshop and a bakery and barns. 

He started trading and built a workshop, bakery, and barns. 

The first sentence is incorrect because it mixes verb tenses. It should be "He started trading" instead of "He start trading" to maintain consistent past tense, as the subsequent actions are also described in the past tense.
The commas are misused. They create unnecessary pauses and disrupt the flow of the sentence.



City name is Chicago.
The city's name is Chicago.
The first sentence, "City name is Chicago," is grammatically incorrect because it lacks the definite article "the" before "city," making it sound incomplete and unnatural in English.
The apostrophe 's' indicates possession or ownership, showing that the name belongs to the city.

Indians said, "The first white man to settle in Chicago was a black man!" And he was.

This sentence is correct.


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